Grappling with Guys, for Women

The world of fighting is predominately a male world. Traditionally, guys are the ones always going off to battle; or are quick to knuckle-up in at parking lot duster outside of your local watering hole. Now that's not to say that women are excluded, but it is to say that women who fight are the exception. Just check out your garden variety World Star Hip Hop videos, the majority of those fights are going to be guys, but you will find some ladies mixing it up there as well, but again, it is the exception to see females in such an aggressive state. Ironically, though, history is FULL of sweet stories and tales of female warriors. Joan of Arc, Shieldmaidens of Norse mythology, Calamity Jane, just to name a few (way more here).

"Joan of Arc in Battle" by Hermann Anton Stilke

In Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, we do have a lot of great female competitors, and the female brackets are only getting bigger every year. So with that in mind I thought it would be good to revisit one of our most famous topics of rolling with girls, but this time explore it from the female perspective.

In our article, "When Hugs Get Dangerous: Guys Rolling with Women," we looked to help guys in training with women by having a (real live) actual female, Rebecca Reuben, tell us guys that women--essentially--aren't made of glass.  But today we're going to flip the script a little and have another guest post talking to women about rolling with guys, from the female perspective. BJJ Blue Belt Christine Fader weighs in this week. 

Christine and crew from Titans Fitness Academy

My name is Christine Fader.  I have been training BJJ for 3 years and am currently a blue belt at Titans Fitness Academy in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
I started my journey at a different Gym doing Muay Thai.  I used to see all the BJJ guys leaving their class so sweaty, exhausted, and happy--and I knew I wanted to be apart of it.
My initial foray into grappling was not easy.  While I have always loved competing in sports and working out I was not prepared for the all consuming mental and physical exhaustion that takes over from having zero technique and no knowledge of what to do.  I struggled a lot.  My first time rolling at open mat time I cried from frustration and vulnerability; and it wouldn't be my last time.  If I could offer any piece of advice to female white belts out there it is: to keep going.  You will get better--I promise.  Trust in the technique; trust in your instructors, trust in your training partners.    It is hard to go to class, day after day, spend hour after hour practicing techniques only to have your guard passed, get mounted and choked in 5 seconds by your larger, stronger training partner who just learned the choke that hour and the guard pass last week.  It feels as if you are wasting your time; or that you will never get it-until one day you don't get choked on 5 seconds.  The next time it takes much longer for your partner to get that choke; and months down the road, while your guard can still get passed you are surviving a lot longer.
As a female it can be especially frustrating because we are usually at a physical disadvantage, but I promise that the techniques work.  The harder you work, and the more you perfect them, you will see results--it just takes time.  Be stubborn.  Don't give up.
BJJ has brought me many close friendships and experiences I never thought I would have and it's only just begun.  I started at age 32, and if I can do it anyone can.  Just don't give up.

Christine in action

So let's keep some things in mind: as a female (or even some guys, I suppose) you're going to be at a physical disadvantage. Sure, of course, we can argue back and forth on the subject but science supports that males have more muscle and better bone density, thus making male bigger, stronger, and more physically dominate. But Brazilian Jiu Jitsu was designed to defeat that! As Christine points out, it's going to be frustrating. But I want to point out that you're not going to through anything any one else hasn't. 

Actress Kateryn Winnick as Lagertha in History Channel's Vikings

Being a female doesn't mean that you're not ever going to be as good as, or better than, the guys at your gym. I'm pretty sure Mackenzie Dern (love her) will ruin my life if she wanted to and I out weigh her by 100 pounds. Being female does, mean that you might be more fragile. It does mean that the guys you're training with will (probably) be trying to walk the line of technique and strength. So you're going to have to walk that same line, but in a more violent way. Set the pace. If you're looking to train harder with someone, set the pace. If you're more concerned about working technique, speak up, but also set the pace. You're going to train with men, that much is inevitable. So when the time comes don't be afraid to be aggressive, but remember to protect yourself from bad situations too. I know you're going to want to tough some stuff out (and you should) but don't be stupid and try to survive some things and get your ribs compromised by a bigger opponent. Trust me when I tell you: guys will always listen to girls on the mat. So even mid-roll if someone is going too rough--or too soft--speak up, joke about it, make them/us aware, but be ready for what comes.

I'm not suggesting that guys are going to be out there head-hunting or anything, but we're a dumb species and can misread suggestions. Finding a good training partner for yourself is a key. You want someone who's A) Comfortable with you & you with them B) Someone skilled enough that isn't new and thus can help you and C) Someone easy to work with so that you can roll, drill, or work out stuff together. That is a tall bill  to fill--like trying to find the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend--but they're out there. 

-and don't forget some other great sites from some female grapplers out there:

http://www.learningbjj.com/

http://www.bjjgirl.net/

This week's sponsors:

VVV Fight Co.

Hard as nails fightwear but by fighters for fighters.

Gis, no gi shorts, rash guards, tees, everything you need to look good on and off the mats and ALL made with TOP quality.

http://www.vvvfightco.com/

https://twitter.com/VVVFightCo

VVV Facebook

Instagram.com/vvvfightco/

Q5 Sports Nutrition

All the supplements you need to keep your grappling game at its best. Know how I know? Because it's made by grapplers. Why screw around with something else?

http://q5sn.com/

https://twitter.com/Q5Labs

facebook.com/Q5Combat

Instagram.com/q5labs/

Breaking Down the Notebook

In my initial post for my school (Goal Setting, available here) I touched on starting a notebook to write down everything you learned in class. Everyone that spoke with me about the blog post on my school's page ultimately said something about the notebook idea and how they started using one. So to build off of that, in this post I'm going to break down the notebook, how I use it, why I think it's helpful, and some newer--more digital--takes on this idea of keeping track of your techniques.

I started with that exact notebook. You'll notice that it's a 3 Subject notebook, I picked that on purpose because a notebook without those dividers will undoubtedly become a mess--unless, of course, you're some superhero of using tabs, homemade dividers, or are super crafty, then by all means. But I'm, more or less, an ape in clothes and if I can get something already tailored for my needs, then that's my best bet. Now I chose "3 subject" specifically because at the onset of my white belt phase I was basically always in Full Guard (in mine or my opponents), in Side Control (mostly on the bottom (you know)), or in Mount (again, mostly on the bottom), so I dedicated each section of the notebook to each of those positions. Of course, Jiu Jitsu has other positions, but as a white belt you're typically not going to be getting a lot of classes on the Deep Half, X-Guard, or really even normal Half Guard. While you might get some classes/lessons on those, as a white belt it's important to remember to focus your efforts on the basics. But if you do get something from those classes/lessons that you really want to remember, jot them down on those subject separators, or a 3x5 index card--and if you feel like that's 'just too much effort' for that technique, then it's really not worth remember for you right now at this stage of the game.

'Why write it down, though?' you might be wondering, because, yes, it is a lot of effort and can be time consuming. Besides the fact the writing things down helps you remember them better, when you apply that to Jiu Jitsu, you're forced to recall every step of every move/technique down to the most subtle movement for the technique to work. How many times has your instructor reminded you to "Put your head on the mat" when you're applying a triangle or an arm bar--a lot I bet. When you write down your techniques you're replaying everything you learned in your head and forcing yourself to recall every detail; and when you do that, you remember things better.

Once you learn something new in class, I highly suggest writing it down as soon as you get home (after you shower, of course) while it's still fresh in your memory. If you're not 'a writer', or don't know how to write something like a technique down, don't get discouraged. There's a couple of things you need to remember:

1. Write it clearly, both in penmanship and thought-expression. Don't muddy the waters or skip over words thinking you'll know what you mean later, because you won't. Trust me.
2. You're probably the only one that's going to be reading it, so don't be afraid to do it how you want to do it, or how you think will work best for you.

In the example above, you can see it's my first note from the Side Control position. I made a point to circle the word "IN" to the left, because to me, that told me that I was on bottom and that particular technique was to be applied from the bottom position in Side Control. Next you'll see I used arrows to show direction, and possibilities of where the move could take me. You might not want to use arrows, you might have a better idea--again, use what works best for you. I used arrows because there's usually an 'If Scenario' where if your opponent does this, then you do that, so arrows were just a way that I could help myself remember 'the routes' I could take if...

The old school method is great. The new school method is cool. Recently I was made aware of a new website that comes with an app for smartphones called http://www.bjjtrainingjournal.com/ . This website is basically your online notebook where instead of writing out your techniques longhand, you can type them in and then tag them with what position they apply to, whether the move is a submission, sweep, transition, and every other possible Jiu Jitsu term--really neat stuff. You can even embed YouTube videos to be recalled later (Huge bonus). The website also has some other cool features like logging your training time so that you have an average of how many hours you're spending on the at 30/60/90+ days. Additionally it has a "Tap Tracker" where you can keep track of your submissions (both giving and receiving)--though, it's got some bugs, but nothing heartbreaking. You can find friends online (I'm on there), share techniques, and break them down to them being in your "Complete Game", "Practice Game", or your "A-Game"; it's a really neat website that, like I said, comes with an app so that you can recall those techniques at the gym or on the go. By the way: It's all For Free. Beautiful, right?

In closing: I like to use both of the methods I mentioned because they both work for me in their own respective ways. I need to be able to write techniques down longhand to help me remember, but I really love having that online access via the app to techniques in the gym. Play around with both of them, see what works best for you, and in doing so you'll be taking that extra step to getting better.

Now, go get your learn on.